Layin' Low

Well, the Lord sure knows how to get me to stop.

Friday morning I went to get up from my prayers and couldn't.  After laying on the floor for an hour, I finally started to call for help from my sleeping children.  They soon aroused themselves and tried to come to my aid.  They resorted to calling my husband home from work instead who tried his best to help also.  But, as he got me to a vertical position pain shot throughout my whole body and I couldn't help but scream and cry in agony. 

Thus, an ambulance was called and I sat in the ER the rest of they day while the doctor got me well medicated enough to come home.
 
So, as I sit here waiting for my follow up appointment to be scheduled, I will type.

I've always thought it ironic:  when we're busy and moving we wish we had time to sit and then when we're forced to sit we wish we could be up and moving.  I've been telling J. for a few weeks now, "I just want a Walden Pond experience."  Well, be careful what you wish for (though this is not quite as relaxing as I'd hoped).

I've gone through the whole gamet of emotions. I thought of all the things I could get done while just sitting around (i.e. more blog posts), things that I usually wish I had more time for.  But, my brain isn't really working that way.  I think the the counselor in our ward Relief Society was right, "The Lord needed you to stop so you could hear something.  Just let it pour in."  

I have such a hard time being helped.  I've been trying to keep in mind something from the last General Relief Society meeting.  President Eyring said this:

"[King Benjamin] goes on to warn those of you who might fail to respond to the evidence that you are pushing on too far and too long in your loving service.  'And see that all these things are done in wisdom and order;  for it is not requisite that a man [or any caregiver] should run faster than he has strength.  And again, it is expedient that he should be diligent, that thereby he might win the prize;  therefore all things must be done in order.'  That counsel can be hard to apply when the choice seems to be balancing a desire to do all you can to help others with the wisdom to be prudent in meeting your own needs to retain your power to serve."  (italics added)

Ironically, just before this happened I had been praying for one thing:  that I could continue to be an instrument in His hands to bless the lives of others.  Maybe this is one way to bless others' lives, by allowing them to serve me while I'm down.  It's a humbling thing to need help.  It's humbling to know that He knows what we need to progress and become more like Him.  I only pray I can learn the lesson He has prepared for me while my hands are idle.