I Know Who I Am

When Donovan was two years old he went through a phase of telling us all the things he hated.  For instance, if he didn’t want cereal he’d say, “I hate cereal!” Or if he didn’t want to read books he’d say, “I hate books!” 

Teasing him one day, J told him, “I hate Donovan.”  

To which Donovan replied, “No!  I love him!”

This reminded me of when John was about the same age.  While in sacrament meeting his grandma leaned over to him and whispered, “Love you millions.”  John looked at her quizzically and said, “I’m not millions, I’m John!”

Satan desires to destroy us, to make us miserable as himself.  One of his greatest designs is to cause us to forget who we are.  In Moses chapter 1, the Lord teaches Moses his true identity: 

And, behold, thou art my son; wherefore look, and I will show thee the workmanship of mine hands; but not all, for my works are without end, and also my words, for they never cease.

Wherefore, no man can behold all my works, except he behold all my glory; and no man can behold all my glory, and afterwards remain in the flesh on the earth.

And I have a work for thee, Moses, my son; and thou art in the similitude of mine Only Begotten; and mine Only Begotten is and shall be the Savior, for he is full of grace and truth; but there is no God beside me, and all things are present with me, for I know them all.

And now, behold, this one thing I show unto thee, Moses, my son, for thou art in the world, and now I show it unto thee (vv. 4-7). 

Then Satan came and tempted Him, even calling him “the son of man.”  However, Moses responded: 

Who art thou? For behold, I am a son of God, in the similitude of his Only Begotten; and where is thy glory, that I should worship thee?

For behold, I could not look upon God, except his glory should come upon me, and I were transfigured before him. But I can look upon thee in the natural man. Is it not so, surely?

Blessed be the name of my God, for his Spirit hath not altogether withdrawn from me, or else where is thy glory, for it is darkness unto me? And I can judge between thee and God; for God said unto me: Worship God, for him only shalt thou serve.

Get thee hence, Satan; deceive me not; for God said unto me: Thou art after the similitude of mine Only Begotten (vv. 13-16).

In Primary our children sing, “I am a child of God” and “I know who I am, I know God’s plan.” Do we believe that, too?  Can we say with conviction, “I know who I am, I am (insert name), a daughter of God?”  How do we keep that confidence that children so readily have in themselves, knowing their identity without doubt? Why do we lose our identity in the first place? 

Psychologically speaking, around the ages of 8-10 we start to view the world with more cognition.  We can begin to discern between what we’ve been taught and what we see happening around us.  We notice the choices of others, life not so black and white, what we do not lining up exactly with what we know.  We begin to question who we really are and want to be.. This is normal childhood development. 

Sadly, however, this affects us spiritually, causing us to challenge our spiritual identity as well. We start to believe the voices that tell us who they believe we are instead of remembering who God tells us we are. Comparing takes the place of compassion.  Competing takes the place of cooperation.  Image takes the place of identity.  

So, what do we do?  How do we remember?

Hannah Anderson invites us to think about being “image bearers” of Christ in her book, Made for More.  She explains there are three ways to live as image bearers: 

              1. You are made to live in dependent communion with God

              2. You are learning to live in relationship with other human beings 

              3. Stewarding creation the way God does. 

In other words, “Love the Lord thy God with all thine heart…and love thy neighbor as thyself (Matt. 22:37-39).” 

Love God First! When we learn of God and understand His true character, we can’t help but come to an understanding of our own identity.  Our identity cannot be separated from His because we were made in His image (Gen. 1:26)!  This is truth. 

I recently took a weekend retreat — all by myself.  I rented a tiny home an hour away and was alone for three nights, two full days. The funny thing is, at 4:00 on the first day I began to panic.  “I’m here all alone and I still accomplished nothing!” What was my purpose of this retreat?  Nothing. To just be. Maybe to work on some yoga training and to explore my writing again.  But mostly, it was just to settle into myself and be alone. That’s it! So, why did I panic? 

The funny thing is, I have been noticing that every day around 4:00 I begin to feel anxious.  I thought it was just gearing up to welcome the boys home from school and J home from work.  I thought I was feeling the stress of being “on” again as mom and homemaker after having several hours in the day to myself.  After the experience at the cabin, however, I realize it is  more than that!  I panic at 4:00 in the afternoon because I have placed a good portion of my identity on what I accomplish in a day! I have based my identity on what I do or do not accomplish — in a day, a week, a month, a year or a lifetime! And then I panic, I lose sight of who I am. 

My identity is centered in Jesus Christ. My identity is centered in who He is and who He created me to be — and image bearer of Him. When I believe this, I don’t panic.  I remember my true identity and can say, “I know who I am! I am a daughter of God, who loves me and I love Him!” 

Anderson writes, “You are an image bearer of your great and glorious God. You were created to reflect and represent Him through your life. This means that your identity is found in His identity; and you will never know yourself, never be yourself, apart from Him.”  

Where do you place your identity? 

This is a lifelong journey, a hero’s journey if you will.  What we are called to do as disciples of Jesus Christ.  This doesn’t mean we change what we do, it means we simply change how we do it — with His image in mind. This is our true identity! 

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“Perhaps the most important things for us to see clearly are who God is and who we really are—sons and daughters of heavenly parents, with a “divine nature and eternal destiny.” Ask God to reveal these truths to you, along with how He feels about you. The more you understand your true identity and purpose, soul deep, the more it will influence everything in your life.” 

— Michelle Craig, CR Oct. 2020