Book Review: The Kids are Alright by Ben & Gabrielle Blair

I might be a bit biased because Gabby is my cousin… 

Nevertheless, this book is amazing! 

 Let’s talk about it… 

First, structure. 

The book is written in a memoir-like style. They take common parenting concerns and write short essays one each topic. You can easily read through the book cover to cover or quickly scan to find the topics relevant to you. The design is as artistic as it is informative. 

Second, content.

This not a “how to” book.  

There is no language such as, “

  - do this if you want a perfect child 

 - how to stop yelling at your children…forever

 - how to get your child to stop breastfeeding

 - how to teach your child to read 

 - how to make family mealtime more enjoyable

- how to get your teen to help out around the house

There is no magic formula to parenting and the Blairs attack this myth eloquently.  Using anecdotal stories from their own experiences, they share the why of their decisions and set up some general principles to consider.  This language allows the reader to ask, “Why do I do what I do?” or “What do I think about that?”  Rather than telling the readers what will bring their children the most success (or else!), the authors lead the readers to ask important questions for themselves.  

They use an idea from the old adage: “Give a man a fish and you feed him for a day.  Teach him how to fish and you feed him for a lifetime.”  And it works beautifully!  

Third, feeling. 

I have read my fair share of parenting books.  When I was first a mother I ate them up!  It was so helpful to find many ideas to draw from, deciding what kind of mom I wanted to be.  There were times (more than I might like to admit) when I would read such a book and feel like I was failing.  Or I would try one of the “perfect” concepts and it would flop in my face.  Oftentimes such books can leave parents feeling super discouraged. 

The Kids Are All Right is not one of those books!  I mean, there might be a little bit of envy as you dream of living in a different country or having the luxury of both parents working from home making it easier to tag team as parents.  Yet, overall, this book will likely leave the reader to feel confident and hopeful about their own parenting journey.  At least, that’s what it did for me!  Again, asking the questions for myself empowered me to temperature check my home.  Is this the life I want to live?  Did we create a home the way I wanted, rather than letting society tell me what my kids needed?  This book gave me permission to take ownership of my family and our choices.  

Five stars!!  This is a book I want to talk about with all my friends! 

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“We never educate directly, but indirectly by means of the environment.  Whether we permit chance environments to do the work, or whether we design environments for the purpose makes a great difference….An intelligent home differs from an unintelligent one chiefly in that the habits of life and intercourse which prevail are chosen, or at least colored, by the thought of their bearing upon the development of children.” 

— John Dewey, quoted by the Blairs, p. 133