Just Love Them

When I was a young mother, striving to find all the right answers on how to raise my children, I would seek counsel from the more seasoned mothers around me.  Frequently I would hear, “Just love them.”  This answer frustrated me so much!  I’d think, “Of course I love them.”  

But now as the role shifts and I am that more experience mother (though with so much still to learn!), I find myself wanting to give the same answer.  My college daughter called me the other day. 

“For one of my assignments I’m supposed to ask an adult what advice they would give a couple having their first baby.”

And then, “Actually, I have so many answers to this question, but now that you’ve asked me I have nothing to say!”  I suddenly knew why so many others had told me to, “Just love them!” It’s all I could think to say!  

I then gave her two “real” answers: 

#1 - stay off the internet for at least three months (even longer if you can). Don’t search every question you possibly have when you have a newborn. Call a nurse. Call a friend. Call your mother.  All you will see on the internet is both extremes: the worse case scenarios or the picture perfect solutions!  Just stay away! 

#2 - Do whatever allows you to love your baby more.  If it means let her cry so you can clean the kitchen, then do it.  If it’s leave the messy kitchen to hold your crying baby, then do it.  Whatever makes the moment less stressful and more joyful for YOU, that’s what you do.

 - - - - - 

“To all mothers in every circumstance…I say, ‘Be peaceful. Believe in God and yourself. You are doing better than you think you are. In fact, your re saviors on Mount Zion, and like the Master, you follow, your love never faileth.”  

— Elder Jeffrey R. Holland