My Solo Retreat

“If Jesus Christ sought quiet time to commune with God and to be strengthened by Him, it would be wise for us to do the same.” — Bishop L. Todd Budge

Something I have wanted to do for a long time (like, years!) has been to take a solo retreat — to find a place or book a hotel room all alone for multiple days.  And I finally did it! 

I found a tiny home an hour away, right on a small river and booked it for three nights. At first, I booked a different place with a few beds, “just in case I decide to bring friends along;” but then reminded myself that the purpose was to be alone. So, I switched gears and got this tiny home with just a bed and mini fridge (the bathrooms were in a separate building). 

As I prepared to leave I told my husband, “I’m feeling pretty selfish right now.” 

He responded, “Well, if you feel that way the whole time you’ll defeat the purpose of this trip.” 

When I first arrived, it felt….weird. It started snowing the minute I pulled in, so that first night I just hunkered down and got cozy.  I fought thoughts of discomfort and fear of intruders and quickly sent my husband a text of my exact location and the phone number of the hostess with the words, “Just in case…” It was dark, cold and quiet.  

Usually when I’m alone I don’t fall asleep too well.  I want to stay awake, trying to utilize every ounce of solitude.  However, that first night I surprised myself by easily falling asleep at a decent hour.  

I awoke pretty early the next day  My daughter lent me her portable induction stovetop so I could make plenty of Crio Bru (a must!). I boiled some water and made my first brew.  I pulled out my yoga mat, bringing movement into my morning routine and fully waking up the body.  I felt settled and ready to listen to what I wanted to do most that first day. 

I chose to work on my yoga training (almost finished with my 300-hour program) and tuned into a live meeting.  I then opened up some books and read for awhile. Snow was still covering the ground, so I stayed inside and worked on my training.  I ended the night with an old movie and drifted off to sleep. 

The next day was equally peaceful.  I slept a little later and started my day with some yoga and brewed cocoa.  Then I felt the urge to write.  So, I started to create blog posts again. There’s no great purpose to my writing here, I’m just getting the writing juices flowing for now.  Maybe it will stay that way forever, but for now, it’s what I need and want to do. That whole day I wrote and read and again ended the night with a favorite movie.  Oh, the weather was much better that day, so I did spend some time outside sitting by the small river next to the cabin.  

I will say as I went to bed that night I thought, “One more day would be too much.  This was perfect.” The final morning I simply packed up and headed home, arriving just in time to get ready for church and the primary program. 

What I Gained, What I Learned 

Re-entry into the loud, busy world was kind of tricky!  I was asked many questions: How was it? Would you do it again? What did you accomplish? And I kind of panicked inside because I didn’t have quick easy answers to any of the questions. 

It’s not like I did anything there that I couldn’t do at home (now that the kids re in school all day).  But just being with myself, my own mind and thoughts, was so therapeutic.  The feeling of inner peace stuck with me for several days after the weekend. The weekend itself was not monumental, but the feelings that came from the weekend were transformational.  

A night or two after getting back home, I told J, “This morning was the first time I’ve woken up with a smile instead of anxiety in a very long time.” 

While on this solo retreat I gave myself permission to take care of me.  I could listen to my body and what it needed.  I had to soothe myself through fears of bears and other creatures invading my space. I have been learning about how important it is to listen to our bodies and was able to put it into practice.  It was a deeply immersive experience, for sure! 

Since coming home I have been flooded with ideas and a new confidence as I make goals to achieve in the next ten years of my life. I have been more peaceful with my children and husband.  I have been more at peace with myself.  

So, upon reflection I can now answer the questions that met me when I came back.  

How was it? 

Amazing! 

Would you do it again? 

I think I will, when I feel I need it. 

What did you accomplish? 

Greater inner peace and love for myself in a way that leads me to love others more as well. 

I highly recommend it! 

*****

“A man can be himself only so long as he is alone; and if he does not love solitude, he will not love freedom; for it is only when he is alone that he is really free.” 

— Arthur Schopenhauer, Essays and Aphorisms